Gender Police: Act II, Scene 4

                                   Scene 4                                 

                                   SETTING: The stage is split between     
                                   DR. SILVA’S office and LUCKY’S          
                                   apartment.                              

                                   AT RISE: LUCKY sits with DR. SILVA      
                                   in the office while GUTTERPUNK          
                                   JOSH, GAZ, TERRY, SCOUT and WAKELY      
                                   are gathered in LUCKY’S living          
                                   room.  Both sides of the stage are      
                                   lit, with focus on LUCKY’S              
                                   apartment.                              

                                   TERRY                                   
          Alright, I call this meeting to order.  Since this is our        
          first meeting of the St. Augustine IWW, I’d say it’s best to     
          keep it informal and just figure out what we need to be          
          chartered as a branch.  First order of business, do we have      
          any questions, comments, concerns?                               

                                   GAZ                                     
          Well, I’m not sure.  I don’t have a job, so I don’t know         
          what good a union would do me.                                   

                                   TERRY                                   
          Plenty!  I heard you got turned down over some                   
          bullshit.  Anyway, a friend of mine is petitioning the City      
          Commission to add ’sexual orientation’ to the protections        
          against housing discrimination.  I think if we’re to be a        
          public union, we should jump on that and extend it to the        
          workplace.                                                       

                                   SCOUT                                   
          We should also extend those protections to ’gender identity’     

                                   GAZ                                     
          I’ll second that.                                                

                                   TERRY                                   
          Alright!  See, you’re already thinkin’ like a union              
          member!  Any opposed to workplace and housing protections        
          for ’sexual orientation’ and ’gender identity’?                  

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          Hell no!                                                         

                                   TERRY                                   
          Good, motion passes.  Does someone want to draft a               
          resolution to bring before the Commission?                       

                                   SCOUT                                   
          I can do that.                                                   

                                   They continue discussion while          
                                   lights come up on DR. SILVA’S           
                                   office.                                 

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I’m missing a meeting for this.                                  

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          An important one?                                                

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I wouldn’t be upset if it weren’t important                      

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Well, this is important as well, don’t you think?                

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Clearly my priorities are lost on you.                           

                                   DR. SILVA                               
                         (sarcastically)                                   
          Tell me how you really feel.                                     

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I mean, seriously, you are like the most unprofessional          
          shrink.                                                          

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Hmm.  Well how are things with Scout?                            

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Never been better.                                               

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Have you spoken to Terry lately?                                 

                                   LUCKY                                   
          All the time                                                     

                                   DR. SILVA puts down her pen and         
                                   pad, looking straight at LUCKY          

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          I thought we were doing alright.  What’s the issue now?          

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Same as it always was.  I don’t want to be here.                 

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Nobody’s making you.                                             

                                   LUCKY                                   
          You know damn well that’s not true.                              

                                   Lights shift back to LUCKY’S            
                                   apartment where everybody is in         
                                   animated conversation                   

                                   TERRY                                   
          Alright, alright, here’s the thing: we need a solid              
          membership base which is damn near impossible in this            
          fuckin’ town, approval from HQ and State recognition as a        
          union which means we need active campaigns or else we’re         
          just a damn social club with no direction.                       

                                   WAKELY                                  
          Well, my job sucks and I wanna make it better.  I bet I          
          could get some of the other people who work there on board.      

                                   TERRY                                   
          Well hell, that’s all we need’s a union bar!  Why didn’t you     
          speak up before?                                                 

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Yeah, what’s it like at the Salted Snail anyway man?  I          
          don’t think I’ve ever seen it busy in there.                     

                                   WAKELY                                  
          Depends on the season.  Fucked up thing is, I’m basically a      
          volunteer.  We only work for tips and Bossman John steals        
          shifts to pay the fuckin’ bills.                                 

                                   TERRY                                   
          Sounds like a solid campaign to me.                              

                                   Lights back on DR. SILVA’S office       
                                   where LUCKY is now pacing.              

                                   LUCKY                                   
          ...and it’s fucked up they think I’m a fucking "danger to        
          myself and others" after all this time when the only thing I     
          fucking wanted was to be accepted or recognized or whichever     
          comes first.  Scout has it easier because it’s ok for            
          assigned females to be masculine, but I ought to be ashamed      
          of myself because I’m not a fucking man?  Don’t get me           
          wrong, ’ey gets all kinds of flack, ’ey gets read as a           
          "woman" a lot and people treat ’em like a fucking piece of       
          meat.  I relate to ’em the way I do because I’m just as          
          fucking terrified of "men" as ’ey is.  People like me, when      
          we get attacked or sexually abused or raped, it’s pretty         
          rare that we make it out alive.  I’ll be lucky not to end up     
          in a shallow grave someday out in po’dunk nowhere because my     
          very existence is a fucking challenge to some dickhead’s         
          masculinity.                                                     

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          I think you might be overreacting a little.                      

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Fuck overreacting!  Do you want to know why I did it?  I         
          lost my goddamn mind one day over something, I don’t             
          remember what, maybe it’s something my mom or dad said,          
          maybe I was just under too much pressure to be something I’m     
          not, but I fucking lost it.  Before I knew what I was doing,     
          my arm was stuck through the glass door of my mother’s china     
          cabinet, the other one  cocked back for another blow nothing     
          but blood and shattering glass and my parents screaming.  It     
          was all the rage I’d built up and built up and finally it        
          just spilled all out.  It was everything I had been              
          repressing, my sexuality, my gender identity, my                 
          insecurities, my fear of being ’abnormal’ whatever the fuck      
          that means...                                                    

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Maybe you should sit down ---                                    

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I just exploded.  And they didn’t like the reality of it, of     
          who I was and who I am.  Do you think I didn’t try to            
          apologize for the cabinet?  The hospital bills?  They            
          wouldn’t take me back if you paid them, not if I’m wearing       
          skirts and bras and taking hormones.                             

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          You’re taking hormones?                                          

                                   LUCKY                                   
          What?                                                            

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          You just said you’re taking hormones.                            

                                   LUCKY stops pacing, sits down, head     
                                   in hands.  Lights up on the             
                                   apartment.                              

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Okay, so I’m drafting a resolution to take to City               
          Commission, Wake is joining up and starting a bar campaign,      

                                   GAZ                                     
          I’ll speak at the City Commission meeting if that’s an           
          option.                                                          

                                   TERRY                                   
          That is always an option                                         

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Sweet.  And ---                                                  

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          Josh will make the event for our next meeting, rep the union     
          around town and scout out a more suitable place to meet.         

                                   TERRY                                   
          Sounds good!  Move to adjourn?                                   

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Second.  After meeting smoke, anyone?                            

                                   TERRY                                   
          I got cigarettes.  Anything outside’a that I don’t need no       
          more of, the 60’s did me in with all that shit.                  

                                   Everybody gets up, talks a              
                                   bit.  TERRY exits as SCOUT reveals      
                                   a bong from underneath the couch,       
                                   packs it and passes it                  
                                   around.  Lights on DR. SILVA’S          
                                   office.                                 

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          When were you planning to tell me you were self-medicating?      

                                   LUCKY                                   
          That was never really a plan, to be honest.                      

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          You know that this is incredibly dangerous, right?  You          
          should really have some tests run before you do that.  What      
          dosage are you taking?                                           

                                   LUCKY                                   
          The minimum.                                                     

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Well, that’s good.  Still incredibly unsafe though.  Your        
          physician will need to be informed of this, you know.            
                                   LUCKY                                   
          You can’t ---                                                    

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          I have a legal obligation ---                                    

                                   LUCKY                                   
          to keep these talks private!                                     

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Listen...I won’t tell, but you have to.  It’s for your own       
          safety.  If you inform him you’re self-medicating, he will       
          have to give you the testing you need and prescribe you the      
          correct dosage.  He could lose his medical license for           
          refusing you help.                                               

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Isn’t that blackmail?                                            

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Technically yes.  But you don’t appear to have many other        
          options.                                                         

                                   LUCKY                                   
                         (smirking)                                        
          Seriously though, most unprofessional shrink I’ve ever met.      

                                   END SCENE
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Gender Police: Act II, Scene 3

                                   Scene 3                                 

                                   SETTING: The Salted Snail               

                                   AT RISE: GAZ and GUTTERPUNK JOSH        
                                   sit at the bar, WAKELY moving back      
                                   and forth between them and other        
                                   CUSTOMERS to check on them and talk     
                                   now and then.                           

                                   GAZ                                     
          I should not be here, man.                                       

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
                         (drunk)                                           
          What’s yer problem?  Here is the fuckin’ place to be!            

                                   GAZ                                     
                         (lowering her voice)                              
          I’m not old enough to drink?                                     

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          What?  Dude, you were off your tits the other night here!        

                                   GAZ                                     
          Shut the fuck up, I know!  But seriously, I could lose my        
          cosmetology license if a cop walked in here or some shit...      

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          Yeah, they like to monitor this place a lot.  Generally,         
          they get run out though.  Place like this everybody’s got a      
          built-in pig radar.                                              

                                   GAZ                                     
          Right, but just in case                                          

                                   WAKELY appears between them             

                                   WAKELY                                  
          Hey guys can I get you something?                                

                                   GAZ                                     
          Just water for me                                                

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          Round of buttery nipples                                         

                                   WAKELY                                  
                         (smiling)                                         
          Alright man                                                      

                                   WAKELY sets up three shot glasses       
                                   and begins pouring their shots          

                                   GAZ                                     
          Buttery nipples?  Could you be more gay?                         

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          I’m not gay, just sensitive                                      

                                   GAZ                                     
          Yeah and you like bitch drinks                                   

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          You seriously gonna complain about free alcohol?                 

                                   GAZ                                     
                         (mocking apology)                                 
          What? Oh, I mean I love buttery nipples                          

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          Damn skippy                                                      

                                   WAKELY hands out the shots and          
                                   raises his glass, JOSH and GAZ          
                                   following                               

                                   WAKELY                                  
          Let us propose a toast to the hardest-core crust punk that       
          ever busted face during karaoke last week                        

                                   GAZ                                     
          To Jesus Fucking Crust!                                          

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          Fuck you both!                                                   

                                   all drink                               

                                   GAZ                                     
          Mmm, tastes like Aphrodite’s magical vagina                      

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          That might call for another round                                

                                   GAZ                                     
          You trying to get me drunk?                                      

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          Well, if I drink alone, I’m an alcoholic                         

                                   WAKELY                                  
          The man has a point                                              

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          and a damn good one too.                                         

                                   WAKELY prepares one more round as       
                                   SCOUT and LUCKY enter holding hands     

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH (cont’d)                
                         (noticing the new arrivals first)                 
          Hey guys!  Yo, Wake, could you throw in two more shots?          

                                   WAKELY nods, grabbing two more          
                                   glasses as GUTTERPUNK JOSH runs to      
                                   hug LUCKY and SCOUT                     

                                   SCOUT                                   
          D’ahw I thought you were too straight for hugs                   

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          You can never be too straight for hugs, dearie.  How are you     
          guys tonight?  Come get drunk with me                            

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Can we get tipsy with you?                                       

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          Fuck no!  All or nothin’...or somewhere in between maybe.        

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Haha alright                                                     

                                   TIME LAPSE                              

                                   WAKELY is walking around the bar,       
                                   picking up bottles, cans, glasses,      
                                   etc. and preparing to close while       
                                   LUCKY, SCOUT, GAZ and GUTTERPUNK        
                                   JOSH sit at the bar, all drunk and      
                                   leaning on one another and/or the       
                                   bar.                                    

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
                         (to LUCKY)                                        
          So, how’re your tits coming along?                               

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Huh?                                                             

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          Ah, don’t fuck with me.  How long have you been                  
          self-medicating?                                                 

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Like a month, can you already tell?                              

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          I can tell you’re sensitive, see watch this                      

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH goes to flick           
                                   LUCKY’S nipples, but LUCKY pulls        
                                   away nearly falling off of hir          
                                   barstool.                               

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Ahw, that’s not cool man                                         

                                   GAZ                                     
                         (grabbing her own breasts, flinching)             
          Yeah, you have no idea how much that hurts                       

                                   LUCKY                                   
          How’d you know though?                                           

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          I’m very perceptive.  Anyway, I’m fuckin’ with ya.  I just       
          wanna make sure you’re not fuckin’ yourself up, ya               
          know.  Shit’s dangerous.                                         

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Yeah man, estrogen’s a hell of a drug.                           

                                   GAZ                                     
          How would you know?                                              

                                   SCOUT                                   
          How could I not?  It’s been the bane of my existence since       
          puberty                                                          

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          Hey, mine too!                                                   

                                   BLACKOUT

Gender Police: Act II, Scene 2

                                   Scene 2                                 

                                   SETTING: LUCKY’S apartment.             

                                   AT RISE: LUCKY and SCOUT are making     
                                   dinner, SCOUT stirring a pot and        
                                   LUCKY darting back and forth            
                                   between her and the cabinets to         
                                   grab seasonings and throw them in.      

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I’m serious about a branch here.                                 

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Me too.                                                          

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Who could we get?                                                

                                   SCOUT                                   
          To join the union?  Maybe Gaz.                                   

                                   LUCKY                                   
          You think?                                                       

                                   SCOUT                                   
          She’ll be needing it if she does get a job...                    

                                   LUCKY                                   
          This is true, but I think she’s too afraid of getting            
          blacklisted to take a risk and try organizing a                  
          union.  She’s already threatened one boss.                       

                                   SCOUT                                   
          If only she had keyed that bitch’s car or something...           

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I mean, she didn’t even try to sue.                              

                                   SCOUT                                   
          It’s a logical fear.  Still a maybe though.  Gutterpunk?         

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Yeah, we could probably get Josh to join.                        

                                   LUCKY stops what ze is doing to         
                                   pull SCOUT in for a kiss                

                                   LUCKY (cont’d)                          
          Also, that                                                       

                                   SCOUT                                   
                         (smiling)                                         
          Yeah?                                                            

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Yeah.  So when’s your dad getting here?                          

                                   SCOUT moves in closer, squeezing        
                                   LUCKY’S ass                             

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Hm, I dunno.  Soon, I suppose                                    

                                   LUCKY                                   
          How soon is soon?                                                

                                   doorbell rings.  LUCKY and SCOUT        
                                   stand holding each other for a          
                                   second.                                 

                                   SCOUT                                   
          I guess that answers that                                        
                         (kissing LUCKY)                                   
          I’ll go let him in.                                              

                                   SCOUT exits.  LUCKY goes to the         
                                   pot, sampling the food.                 

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Needs rosemary...                                                

                                   LUCKY grabs a spice bottle from         
                                   the cabinet and begins sprinkling       
                                   rosemary into the pot.  BILL and        
                                   SCOUT enter.                            

                                   BILL                                    
          Well this is a nice little place.                                
                         (noticing no TV)                                  
          Do you guys need a TV?  I have one at the house, the one you     
          had in your room, Nat                                            

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Dad...                                                           

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Food’s ready!  Let’s eat                                         

                                   LUCKY fills bowls and hands them        
                                   out.  Everybody crowds into the         
                                   living room to eat.                     

                                   BILL                                    
          Looks good.                                                      
                         (taking a bite)                                   
          Did you make this yourself, Lucky?                               

                                   LUCKY                                   
          No, Scout did most of the work.                                  

                                   BILL                                    
          Scout?                                                           
                         (realizing)                                       
          Oh, right.                                                       

                                   They continue eating in silence a       
                                   moment                                  

                                   BILL (cont’d)                           
          Seriously though, do you want that old TV?                       

                                   FADE OUT

Gender Police: Act II, Scene 1

                                                                           
                                   ACT II                                  

                                   Scene 1                                 

                                   SETTING: Plaza de la Constitucion,      
                                   IWW Community Potluck Picnic in         
                                   front of the old Slave Market.          

                                   AT RISE: LUCKY, GAZ, GUTTERPUNK         
                                   JOSH, and SCOUT sit on a blanket        
                                   upstage, eating plates of several       
                                   assorted foods and drinking coffee,     
                                   laughing.  TERRY is going around to     
                                   groups eating, talking, playing in      
                                   the background carrying a plate of      
                                   his own as he greets people, shakes     
                                   hands, hugs and hooks them into         
                                   animated discussions.                   

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          All I’m sayin’ is I’ve got enough problems without a dick in     
          my ass.                                                          

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Alright, but how about a strap-on, then?                         

                                   GAZ                                     
          I think that might still count                                   

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          Of course it still counts!                                       

                                   LUCKY                                   
                         (through waves of laughter)                       
          Alright, alright moving on.                                      
                         (breathing)                                       
          OK, my turn.  Never have I ever...um ---                         

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          So wait a second, why the fuck are we playing Never Have I       
          Ever with fuckin’ coffee?                                        

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Because we can’t have open alcohol here.                         

                                   GAZ                                     
          It’s way too early to be drinking anyway                         

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Actually ---                                                     

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          Fuck too early!  How can you drink all day if you don’t          
          start first thing in the morning?                                

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Yeah, I’ma go ahead and agree with Josh on that one.             

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Right, no early drinking only free drinking.  But that’s not     
          the point.  Point is, cops already don’t like us for...I         
          dunno, reasons.                                                  

                                   LUCKY                                   
          They don’t like free things?                                     

                                   GAZ                                     
          Or maybe fun things?  I’m pretty sure all cops just hate fun     
          things.                                                          

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          Yeah, I don’t guess it’s worth getting arrested for a            
          PBR.  Also, maybe the cops are just pissed off ’cause they       
          weren’t invited.                                                 

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Nah, the City invited them to come protect us goodly             
          citizens from the outsider tourists.                             

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I think you might have that backwards.                           

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Nah, the cops love us.                                           

                                   TERRY appears behind SCOUT,             
                                   plopping a hand on ’eir shoulder        
                                   before moving in to join them on        
                                   the blanket.                            

                                   TERRY                                   
          How’s everybody doin’ over here?                                 

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
                         (getting to his knees in mock worship)            
          Union Father!  I am not worthy                                   

                                   TERRY                                   
                         (middle finger at Josh)                           
          Ah, fuck off!  Haha, damn you kids...                            

                                   SCOUT                                   
                         (facetious)                                       
          Hey now, old man!                                                

                                   GAZ                                     
          "If it weren’t for those meddling kids..."                       

                                   TERRY                                   
          Hell yeah, man and that fuckin’ dog...                           

                                   all laugh                               

                                   TERRY                                   
          Anyway, I came by to see how ya’ll are doin’ thought I’d         
          come talk some shit                                              

                                   GAZ                                     
          We were playing Never Have I Ever with coffee, wanna join?       

                                   TERRY                                   
          Hehe, no thanks!  I don’t need that much coffee and I sure       
          as hell don’t need that much information                         

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Fair enough.  Is there a meeting in Gainesville tonight?         

                                   TERRY                                   
          Nah, got moved back because someone’s gonna be outta town.       

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Isn’t that what minutes are for?                                 

                                   TERRY                                   
          You know that’s exactly what I said.                             

                                   LUCKY                                   
          We need to build a branch here.                                  

                                   TERRY                                   
          With what membership?  And where could we meet that ain’t a      
          damn public picnic?                                              

                                   SCOUT                                   
          We’ll figure all that out.                                       

                                   GUTTERPUNK JOSH                         
          Am I hearing about shit getting done or shit getting talked?     

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Done.                                                            

                                   CURTAIN

Gender Police – Act I, Scene 6

                                   Scene 6                                 

                                   SETTING: DR. SILVA’S office.            

                                   AT RISE: LUCKY is sitting on the        
                                   couch.  DR. SILVA in her chair,         
                                   notebook in hand.                       

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Good to see you again, Adam.  How was your week?                 

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I prefer my chosen name..                                        

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          But it’s not your legal name.                                    

                                   LUCKY                                   
                         (rolling hir eyes)                                
          My week was fine.                                                

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          What did you do?                                                 

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Well, I met someone.  That was nice.                             

                                   DR. SILVA                               
                         (raising her eyebrows)                            
          Oh?  Someone like you?                                           

                                   LUCKY                                   
          You could say that.  I met ’em at the bar.                       

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          "Him?"                                                           

                                   LUCKY                                   
          ’Em.  Like "them," but without the "th" so it’s                  
          gender-neutral, but not confusing.                               

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Like your "ze/hir?"                                              

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Yeah, something like that.                                       

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Where did you meet h-’em?                                        

                                   LUCKY                                   
          At the bar.  ’Ey knows Terry.                                    

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          You’re older friend, Terry?                                      

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Yeah.  I helped ’em get a binder.  ’Ey was binding with an       
          ACE bandage and broke one of ’eir ribs.  Shit’s                  
          dangerous.  I’m helping ’em transition.                          

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          So it’s a girl?                                                  

                                   LUCKY                                   
          No.  ’Ey’s trans*.  Like me.  Assigned female, non-binary.       

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Well, if she’s not fully transitioning, she’s still female.      

                                   LUCKY                                   
          That’s only if you assume sex and gender are the same thing.     

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Adam, we’ve been over this...                                    

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Yeah, and you were wrong then too.                               

                                   DR. SILVA sits back in her chair,       
                                   calm, controlled.  She begins           
                                   writing in her notebook.                

                                   LUCKY (cont’d)                          
          What are you writing?                                            

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Just taking notes.                                               

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Notes on what?                                                   

                                   DR. SILVA sets the notebook on her      
                                   lap, looking at LUCKY.                  

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Why are you here?                                                

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I’m legally required to be here until I’m 22.                    

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          One more year...how long have you been coming to see me?         

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Six months.                                                      

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          And how long have you been in Psychiatric care?                  

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Three years.  They sent me to you because I wore out my last     
          shrink.                                                          

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          And the one before that...                                       

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Yeah, and the one before that too.  What are you getting at?     

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          So in all this time, you have willfully refused to take          
          responsibility for yourself, your actions, your                  
          words.  You’ve hopped from one doctor to the next and have       
          refused to accept help from every one of them.  You have         
          blamed the whole world for your problems and have resisted       
          any attempts that we have made to get through to you, to get     
          you to open up.  And now today, you come telling me about a      
          girl who, you say, doesn’t want to be a girl - someone you       
          have some experiences in common with, but you avoid names        
          ---                                                              

                                   LUCKY                                   
          You never asked me ’eir name.                                    

                                   DR. SILVA                               
                         (clearing her throat)                             
          And you choose to pick fights with me, challenge me.  You’re     
          trying to get a rise out of me and it won’t work ---             

                                   LUCKY                                   
          It already has ---                                               

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          You’re deflecting.  Why?                                         

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I dunno.  Maybe because your job is to listen to me and you      
          don’t.  I’m trying to tell you who I am and you want to          
          correct me as if just because I was put in a box at birth I      
          should just accept it.  You’re no different from the             
          others.  Don’t think you’re special because I challenge you      
          - I challenge everyone.  Always.  Just because you have some     
          fancy degrees and a nice office doesn’t make you smarter or      
          better than me.  It just means you’re educated and good for      
          you, congratulations.  Maybe one day I’ll have as many           
          framed pieces of paper as you to hang on my walls, but right     
          now I’m here because some legal officials think I’m crazy        
          and I’m sure you do too, but honestly, I couldn’t give a         
          fuck about any of this.                                          

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Is that how you really feel?                                     

                                   LUCKY                                   
                         (scoffs)                                          
          Yeah, that’s how I really feel.                                  
                         (beat)                                            
          ’Eir name is Scout, by the way.                                  

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Scout.  Interesting name.                                        

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Kinda like Lucky.                                                

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          You never explained to me why you call yourself                  
          that.  Perhaps I’d feel more comfortable calling you by your     
          chosen name if I understood it.                                  

                                   LUCKY                                   
                         (beat)                                            
          The third time I was Baker-Acted, they took me to this           
          mental health facility in Jacksonville.                          

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          River Point, it’s in your record.                                

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Yeah, River Point.  They locked me up and I resisted so they     
          sedated me and I woke up in a fucking straight jacket in a       
          solitary cell.  They let me out soon enough, I guess because     
          I was good and for the first time since I had arrived, I got     
          to see my arms.  They had stitched them up and covered them      
          with gauze and when I finally got to look at them, the nurse     
          told me I was lucky to have survived.  The whole ordeal is       
          still pretty hazy, they had me on some drug cocktail that        
          prettymuch guaranteed I’d forget almost everything...but I       
          remember that.  Still have the scars.  It’s a reminder, I        
          guess.  That’s why I call myself that.                           

                                   DR. SILVA                               
                         (looking at her watch)                            
          Well, time’s up.  I think we’ve made a breakthrough              
          today.  What about you, Lucky?                                   

                                   LUCKY                                   
                         (forcing a smile)                                 
          Seems that way.                                                  

                                   BLACKOUT

Gender Police – Act I, Scene 5

                                   Scene 5                                 

                                   SETTING: LUCKY’S apartment.  There      
                                   is a futon, coffee table and a          
                                   chair, very basic.  There is no         
                                   television.  Only radical               
                                   literature, books, magazines,           
                                   newspapers, paint supplies and          
                                   cardboard protest signs strewn          
                                   about.  Next to this is the kitchen     
                                   area with small stove, sink, single     
                                   counter, minifridge and                 
                                   microwave.  On the floor in front       
                                   of the counter is a dirty looking       
                                   box filled with vegetables.             

                                   AT RISE: LUCKY and SCOUT are going      
                                   through the box, SCOUT taking           
                                   whatever veggies look good to eat       
                                   and rinsing them to put in the          
                                   fridge.  LUCKY has a separate box       
                                   in which to throw the rotten food       
                                   for compost.                            

                                   LUCKY                                   
          How long have you been doing this?                               

                                   SCOUT                                   
          What?  Dumpster diving or composting?                            

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Both?                                                            

                                   SCOUT                                   
          I mean, I grew up poor and I knew a lot of punk                  
          kids.  Everybody knows bike punks.  They got me into Food        
          Not Bombs and shit like that where we had to dumpster dive       
          because we believed in free food for everyone.  All the          
          time.  We took donations too, but before people would            
          donate, we had to be publicly doing something, so we went        
          out to all the grocery stores, jumped in some dumpsters and      
          threw what was usable in a pot.  We made enough food for         
          anybody who wanted to come the next day.  All vegan so           
          anybody could eat it, always healthy.  We didn’t use rotten      
          shit, that we saved for compost.  Bike punks invariably          
          always have gardens, did you know that?                          

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I do now.  I seriously thought punk had died out and got         
          co-opted by Green Day and the like.                              

                                   SCOUT                                   
          It kinda did.  But free food is for everyone.  And it            
          sickens me how much we waste.  Anyway, I thought I’d show        
          you something new and useful since you went out of your way      
          to get me a binder.                                              

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I think that’s called mutual aid.                                

                                   SCOUT                                   
          I still can’t believe you know Terry and you’ve never been       
          diving before.  Tsk, tsk.                                        

                                   LUCKY stops what ze is doing to         
                                   stand up and look at SCOUT              

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Well, maybe he just wanted me to meet you first.                 

                                   SCOUT turns around to face LUCKY.       

                                   SCOUT                                   
          That makes no sense.                                             

                                   LUCKY moves in to kiss SCOUT, who       
                                   looks confused.                         

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I think it makes perfect sense.                                  

                                   SCOUT’S face softens.  They kiss.       

                                   CURTAIN

Gender Police – Act I, Scene 4

                                   Scene 4                                 

                                   SETTING: A bar.  Behind the bar is      
                                   a large sign reading "The Salted        
                                   Snail Beach Tavern" and underneath      
                                   is a menu listing a number of           
                                   uncommonly cheap drinks.  Upstage       
                                   left from the bar is a door with a      
                                   unisex bathroom sign hanging from       
                                   it.  WAKELY stands behind the           
                                   bar.  Downstage left is a small         
                                   table.                                  

                                   AT RISE: GAZ is drunk at the bar,       
                                   nearly falling off of her               
                                   stool.  WAKELY, desperately trying      
                                   to find something to do, keeps          
                                   cleaning the same three glasses as      
                                   the scene goes on.  At the table        
                                   sit LUCKY and TERRY talking in low      
                                   voices.                                 

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Where are we on starting a branch here?                          

                                   TERRY                                   
          About that.  Listen, I got someone I want you to meet.  I        
          don’t know how you haven’t yet, but she’s about ready to         
          join up and I think she’s got a lot of potential.                

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Is she coming here tonight?                                      

                                   TERRY                                   
          Well, I asked her to.  She ought to be here in a little          
          while.                                                           

                                   LUCKY                                   
                         (getting up)                                      
          Alright, well let me --- whoa!  Is that a unisex bathroom?       

                                   TERRY                                   
                         (looking back)                                    
          Heh, yep.  Sure is.                                              

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Holy shit, that’s like the fucking Grail around here!  I’ll      
          be right back.                                                   

                                   LUCKY exits through the bathroom        
                                   door as SCOUT enters. ’Ey waves to      
                                   TERRY but heads first to the bar to     
                                   order a beer.                           

                                   GAZ                                     
                         (slurring)                                        
          I know you                                                       

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Hm?                                                              

                                   GAZ                                     
          I said I know you...you were at Occupy, right?  My friend        
          John was running for City Counsil and spoke at the rally.        

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Hah, yeah the one rally.  I know John.  He’s kind of a           
          dickbag.                                                         

                                   GAZ                                     
          Yeah, he is.  Has some dank ass weed though.                     

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Can’t argue with that.                                           

                                   WAKELY hands SCOUT ’eir beer.           

                                   SCOUT                                   
          See you around.                                                  

                                   SCOUT heads over to the table with      
                                   TERRY as LUCKY comes out of the         
                                   bathroom.                               

                                   TERRY                                   
          Hey girl, how ya doin’?                                          

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Could be better.  Got into an argument with my dad today,        
          sorta.                                                           

                                   TERRY                                   
          Well now, I can’t say nothin’ about that.  But hey, we’re        
          among friends now!  Pull up a chair, this here’s Lucky.          

                                   LUCKY and SCOUT shake hands, LUCKY      
                                   sits.                                   

                                   LUCKY                                   
                         (pulling out a chair)                             
          Here, have a seat and chat with us.                              

                                   SCOUT                                   
                         (holding ’eir chest)                              
          I-I can’t.  It hurts too much.                                   

                                   TERRY                                   
          What’s you’re chest hurting? What’d’ya do, break a rib?          

                                   LUCKY takes a small step back from      
                                   SCOUT to take a better look at ’em.     

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Um, I don’t mean to pry but...well, do you bind?                 

                                   SCOUT                                   
                         (caught off guard)                                
          Huh?                                                             

                                   TERRY                                   
          Bind?  Oh, this is another of those things I don’t get.          

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I mean, I’m not trying to offend you I just, you know,           
          noticed.  What do you bind with?                                 

                                   SCOUT                                   
          I have an ACE bandage that I’ve been using.                      

                                   LUCKY, looking concerned, stands.       

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Do you mind if I touch you?                                      

                                   SCOUT                                   
          What?                                                            

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Lift your arm.                                                   

                                   SCOUT                                   
                         (obeying)                                         
          Why?                                                             

                                   LUCKY puts a hand on SCOUT’S            
                                   ribcage.  SCOUT recoils a bit, but      
                                   allows it.                              

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Does that hurt?                                                  

                                   SCOUT                                   
          A bit, yeah.                                                     

                                   LUCKY moves hir hand slightly,          
                                   pressing a bit harder.                  

                                   SCOUT (cont’d)                          
                         (recoiling)                                       
          Shit, ow!                                                        

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Okay, yeah come with me to the bathroom.                         

                                   TERRY                                   
                         (jokingly)                                        
          Already?  You’ve just met.                                       

                                   SCOUT                                   
          What for?                                                        

                                   LUCKY                                   
          We need to get this bandage off you.  Do you know your           
          measurements?                                                    

                                   SCOUT                                   
          I know my bra size.  But I don’t like bras.                      

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Different measurements.  I’m getting you a binder.               

                                   LUCKY and SCOUT exit through the        
                                   bathrooom door.  GAZ has been           
                                   watching this whole interaction.        

                                   GAZ                                     
          What was that all about?                                         

                                   TERRY                                   
          Some things I don’t suppose I’ll ever understand.                

                                   GAZ                                     
          Fair enough.                                                     
                         (lifts her glass)                                 
          Here’s to not understanding shit!                                

                                   TERRY                                   
                         (lifting his glass)                               
          Here, here!                                                      

                                   FADE OUT

Gender Police – Act I, Scene 3

                                   Scene 3                                 

                                   SETTING: The stage is split in          
                                   two.  On one side, a simple living      
                                   room with a recliner and sofa           
                                   chair, coffee table in front of         
                                   them.  The other side is an office      
                                   the back wall of which displays         
                                   pictures of different hairstyles,       
                                   celebrity makeup, etc.  The desk                                                                                   
                                   and two chairs are simple,              
                                   fashionably arranged.                   

                                   AT RISE: Lights come up on the          
                                   living room, revealing BILL in the      
                                   recliner smoking a                      
                                   cigarette.  SCOUT enters and sits       
                                   down, lights a cigarette                
                                   nervously.  BILL does not look up       
                                   at ’em.                                 

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Hey dad.                                                         

                                   BILL                                    
          Hey there, Nat.  How was class today?                            

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Dad...                                                           

                                   BILL                                    
                         (looking up)                                      
          You know, I really wish you’d grow your hair back out.  You      
          look like a boy.                                                 

                                   SCOUT                                   
                         (smirking)                                        
          It’s a good thing I didn’t cut it for you...I’ve asked you       
          not to call me Natalie.                                          

                                   BILL                                    
          I didn’t call you Natalie.  I called you Nat.                    

                                   SCOUT scowls at BILL.  Unamused.        

                                   BILL                                    
          What do you have against being called Natalie?                   

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Dad, I’ve always hated that name.                                

                                   BILL                                    
          And what, you prefer Scout?  That’s not even a real name!        

                                   SCOUT                                   
          How do you figure?                                               
                         (standing and putting out ’eir                    
                         cigarette)                                        
          Do you remember when I was little?  I dunno how old, maybe 5     
          or 6 and I used to run around and climb trees and shit?  I’d     
          come back with something interesting or a pointless story        
          about how I was looking for dinosaur fossils in the back         
          yard and you’d run out to find the yard all dug up, grass        

                                   SCOUT                                   
          and dirt and shit all over the place?  You made me help you      
          clean it up and then you laughed and called me Scout.  That      
          was your nickname for me.                                        

                                   BILL                                    
          You were a little kid then.  It’s a child’s name.  You’re 22     
          now, Natalie.                                                    

                                   SCOUT                                   
          What’s your point?                                               

                                   BILL puts his cigarette out, head       
                                   in hands.                               

                                   BILL                                    
          What am I supposed to do?                                        

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Let me be who I am and not who you want me to be?                

                                   BILL                                    
          Easier said than done, kiddo.                                    

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Is it?                                                           

                                   Lights go down on the living room       
                                   and come up on the office where         
                                   BRENDA sits in the power chair          
                                   behind the desk.  GAZ enters and        
                                   BRENDA, plastic smile, motions for      
                                   her to sit at the chair on the          
                                   other side of the desk.                 

                                   BRENDA                                  
          Hello!  Welcome!  Gaz, is it?                                    

                                   GAZ                                     
          Yes.  Nice to meet you, Brenda.                                  

                                   BRENDA                                  
          The pleasure’s all mine.  First of all, I’d like to thank        
          you for applying.  You’re resume is quite impressive.  It        
          says here you’ve just finished schooling?                        

                                   GAZ                                     
          Yes, I’m certified for hair and waxing specifically, but I’m     
          also trained in makeup.                                          

                                   BRENDA                                  
          Mhm, well this all looks very promising and you certainly        
          have a nice portfolio but...well, may I ask you a personal       
          question?                                                        

                                   GAZ                                     
                         (guarded)                                         
          Uh sure, what would you like to ask me?                          

                                   BRENDA                                  
          Well, I noticed in your background check that Gaz is not         
          your original name?  You’ve changed it from Jacob, correct?      

                                   GAZ                                     
          I-I’m sorry I’m just not sure why that’s relevant.               

                                   BRENDA                                  
          I’m just curious about the name-change.  I can’t help but        
          wonder - perhaps this is rude, but for security’s sake, you      
          see, I’m curious as to what reason you had to change your        
          name to Gaz?                                                     

                                   GAZ                                     
                         (aggitated)                                       
          My background check would have had the answer to that            
          question.                                                        

                                   BRENDA                                  
          Well, you see...our customers are used to dealing with..a        
          certain type of person.                                          

                                   GAZ                                     
          I’m sorry again, but what does this have to do with my name?     

                                   BRENDA                                  
          Well, I just wonder if you’re really the right fit for us.       

                                   GAZ                                     
          This doesn’t make any sense ---                                  

                                   BRENDA                                  
                         (hastily)                                         
          I’m afraid we simply can’t take any risks with new               
          hires.  Thank you for your time.                                 

                                   GAZ                                     
                         (standing, livid)                                 
          I see how it is.  You know what?  Fuck you and fuck your         
          job.  I don’t need this.                                         

                                   GAZ storms off stage.                   

                                   BLACKOUT

Gender Police – Act 1 Scene 2

                                   Scene 2                                 

                                   SETTING: Psychologist’s                 
                                   office.  Couch, sofa chair.  Back       
                                   wall holds framed degrees and a         
                                   motivational poster (perhaps ’Hang      
                                   In There’ kitty or something            
                                   similar).                               

                                   AT RISE: DR. SILVA sits in the sofa     
                                   chair, notepad in hand.  LUCKY is       
                                   sitting forward on the couch,           
                                   twiddling hir thumbs, looking at        
                                   the floor.                              

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Where do you think your dysphoria comes from?                    

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Is that a serious question?                                      

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          What makes you ask that?                                         

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I mean, how can you not know?                                    

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Well, for one, I’m not transexual.                               

                                   LUCKY                                   
          I suppose you aren’t.                                            

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Do you plan to undergo reassignment surgery?                     

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Thought about it.  Nah.  Not for me.  Maybe breast               
          implants.  But, if I’m honest, I don’t think I can give up       
          the convenience of standing up to pee.                           

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          What about your sex life?                                        

                                   LUCKY                                   
          What about it?                                                   

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Does your gender dysphoria interfere with sexual encounters?     

                                   LUCKY                                   
                         (scoffing)                                        
          Well, what the fuck do you think?                                

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          It’s a simple question, no need for hostility.  Perhaps we       
          should wrap up for the day.  You seem tired.                     

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Bitter, more like...but it’s all the same really.                

                                   DR. SILVA                               
          Same time next week?  Perhaps we’ll make some actual             
          progress then.                                                   

                                   LUCKY                                   
                         (aside)                                           
          Don’t get your hopes up.                                         

                                   exit LUCKY                              

                                   CURTAIN

Gender Police – Act I, Scene 1

                                   ACT I                                   

                                   Scene 1                                 

                                   SETTING: There are three different      
                                   bedrooms set up along the               
                                   stage.  The first, SCOUT’S:             
                                   disorganized, clothes overflowing       
                                   from a dresser onto the floor, top      
                                   of the dresser cluttered with           
                                   random things from plastic dinosaur     
                                   toys to an assortment of different      
                                   colored duct tape rolls.  The           
                                   second, LUCKY’S: equally                
                                   disorganized, a book shelf covered      
                                   with writing and holding too many       
                                   books to fit on it.  The third,         
                                   GAZ’S: a desk holding assorted          
                                   cosmetics, a cosmetology doll head      
                                   wearing a stylized wig and fake         
                                   eyelashes and a bottle of water         
                                   next to some medications (these are     
                                   estrogen pills and a bottle of          
                                   anti-androgens).  SCOUT, LUCKY and      
                                   GAZ are in each of their respective     
                                   rooms, looking upstage into the         
                                   audience which acts as a mirror.        

                                   AT RISE: SCOUT, wearing a sports        
                                   bra begins wrapping an ace bandage      
                                   tightly around ’eir chest. LUCKY is     
                                   fitting hirself into a small,           
                                   heavily padded bra. GAZ, leaning        
                                   forward and fixing her makeup.  GAZ     
                                   takes one pill from each container      
                                   on her desk with the bottle of          
                                   water.  LUCKY and SCOUT are both        
                                   adjusting themselves and frowning.      

                                   GAZ                                     
                         (downing her pills)                               
          Mm, now what do I do about this hair?                            

                                   GAZ grabs a straightener from her       
                                   desk and begins fixing her              
                                   hair.  LUCKY is now layering            
                                   another bra onto the original,          
                                   adjusting to make it appear natural     
                                   before putting on a form-fitting        
                                   sleeveless shirt.  Ze then begins       
                                   rubbing her face in despair.  SCOUT     
                                   is holding ’eir now-wrapped chest       
                                   and trying to breath with
                                                                  2.       

                                   difficulty and apparent pain.  ’Ey      
                                   tries to ignore it however and          
                                   begins sifting through the clothes      
                                   on the floor to find something          
                                   baggy enough to hide ’eir figure.       

                                   SCOUT                                   
          Where the fuck is that shirt?                                    

                                   LUCKY                                   
          Why did I not shave?  Goddammit!                                 

                                   LUCKY finds some cover-up in the        
                                   litter on hir desk and begins           
                                   applying it, annoyed, angry.  SCOUT     
                                   throws clothes around furiously         
                                   before finally collapsing on the        
                                   floor, holding ’eir chest in pain       
                                   and crying.                             

                                   BLACKOUT