SETTING: The stage is split between
DR. SILVA’S office and LUCKY’S
AT RISE: LUCKY sits with DR. SILVA
in the office while GUTTERPUNK
JOSH, GAZ, TERRY, SCOUT and WAKELY
are gathered in LUCKY’S living
room. Both sides of the stage are
lit, with focus on LUCKY’S
Alright, I call this meeting to order. Since this is our
first meeting of the St. Augustine IWW, I’d say it’s best to
keep it informal and just figure out what we need to be
chartered as a branch. First order of business, do we have
any questions, comments, concerns?
Well, I’m not sure. I don’t have a job, so I don’t know
what good a union would do me.
Plenty! I heard you got turned down over some
bullshit. Anyway, a friend of mine is petitioning the City
Commission to add ’sexual orientation’ to the protections
against housing discrimination. I think if we’re to be a
public union, we should jump on that and extend it to the
We should also extend those protections to ’gender identity’
I’ll second that.
Alright! See, you’re already thinkin’ like a union
member! Any opposed to workplace and housing protections
for ’sexual orientation’ and ’gender identity’?
Good, motion passes. Does someone want to draft a
resolution to bring before the Commission?
I can do that.
They continue discussion while
lights come up on DR. SILVA’S
I’m missing a meeting for this.
An important one?
I wouldn’t be upset if it weren’t important
Well, this is important as well, don’t you think?
Clearly my priorities are lost on you.
Tell me how you really feel.
I mean, seriously, you are like the most unprofessional
Hmm. Well how are things with Scout?
Never been better.
Have you spoken to Terry lately?
All the time
DR. SILVA puts down her pen and
pad, looking straight at LUCKY
I thought we were doing alright. What’s the issue now?
Same as it always was. I don’t want to be here.
Nobody’s making you.
You know damn well that’s not true.
Lights shift back to LUCKY’S
apartment where everybody is in
Alright, alright, here’s the thing: we need a solid
membership base which is damn near impossible in this
fuckin’ town, approval from HQ and State recognition as a
union which means we need active campaigns or else we’re
just a damn social club with no direction.
Well, my job sucks and I wanna make it better. I bet I
could get some of the other people who work there on board.
Well hell, that’s all we need’s a union bar! Why didn’t you
speak up before?
Yeah, what’s it like at the Salted Snail anyway man? I
don’t think I’ve ever seen it busy in there.
Depends on the season. Fucked up thing is, I’m basically a
volunteer. We only work for tips and Bossman John steals
shifts to pay the fuckin’ bills.
Sounds like a solid campaign to me.
Lights back on DR. SILVA’S office
where LUCKY is now pacing.
...and it’s fucked up they think I’m a fucking "danger to
myself and others" after all this time when the only thing I
fucking wanted was to be accepted or recognized or whichever
comes first. Scout has it easier because it’s ok for
assigned females to be masculine, but I ought to be ashamed
of myself because I’m not a fucking man? Don’t get me
wrong, ’ey gets all kinds of flack, ’ey gets read as a
"woman" a lot and people treat ’em like a fucking piece of
meat. I relate to ’em the way I do because I’m just as
fucking terrified of "men" as ’ey is. People like me, when
we get attacked or sexually abused or raped, it’s pretty
rare that we make it out alive. I’ll be lucky not to end up
in a shallow grave someday out in po’dunk nowhere because my
very existence is a fucking challenge to some dickhead’s
I think you might be overreacting a little.
Fuck overreacting! Do you want to know why I did it? I
lost my goddamn mind one day over something, I don’t
remember what, maybe it’s something my mom or dad said,
maybe I was just under too much pressure to be something I’m
not, but I fucking lost it. Before I knew what I was doing,
my arm was stuck through the glass door of my mother’s china
cabinet, the other one cocked back for another blow nothing
but blood and shattering glass and my parents screaming. It
was all the rage I’d built up and built up and finally it
just spilled all out. It was everything I had been
repressing, my sexuality, my gender identity, my
insecurities, my fear of being ’abnormal’ whatever the fuck
Maybe you should sit down ---
I just exploded. And they didn’t like the reality of it, of
who I was and who I am. Do you think I didn’t try to
apologize for the cabinet? The hospital bills? They
wouldn’t take me back if you paid them, not if I’m wearing
skirts and bras and taking hormones.
You’re taking hormones?
You just said you’re taking hormones.
LUCKY stops pacing, sits down, head
in hands. Lights up on the
Okay, so I’m drafting a resolution to take to City
Commission, Wake is joining up and starting a bar campaign,
I’ll speak at the City Commission meeting if that’s an
That is always an option
Sweet. And ---
Josh will make the event for our next meeting, rep the union
around town and scout out a more suitable place to meet.
Sounds good! Move to adjourn?
Second. After meeting smoke, anyone?
I got cigarettes. Anything outside’a that I don’t need no
more of, the 60’s did me in with all that shit.
Everybody gets up, talks a
bit. TERRY exits as SCOUT reveals
a bong from underneath the couch,
packs it and passes it
around. Lights on DR. SILVA’S
When were you planning to tell me you were self-medicating?
That was never really a plan, to be honest.
You know that this is incredibly dangerous, right? You
should really have some tests run before you do that. What
dosage are you taking?
Well, that’s good. Still incredibly unsafe though. Your
physician will need to be informed of this, you know.
You can’t ---
I have a legal obligation ---
to keep these talks private!
Listen...I won’t tell, but you have to. It’s for your own
safety. If you inform him you’re self-medicating, he will
have to give you the testing you need and prescribe you the
correct dosage. He could lose his medical license for
refusing you help.
Isn’t that blackmail?
Technically yes. But you don’t appear to have many other
Seriously though, most unprofessional shrink I’ve ever met.